Have you ever experienced the burden of living a lie. Whether a small or a big one, the burden of having a part of your life not really how you feel it should be. You secretly want something else, but don’t dare to go for it. You don’t dare to let the truth out. These secrets take energy and they wear you out. All that pretending and trying. And yet we keep them in because we are afraid of what might happen when we let it all out.
I used to live a lie, but mostly I was lying to myself. Convincing everything was OK so I would not have to go through something I perceived horrible. Like a divorce. Like changing a career direction after the age of 30. I used to pretend to love things I didn’t, just because I thought that would be somehow easier. But it wasn’t, by far. When the truth finally came out, it was the best thing there ever was. Shiny and new, my savior.