All Things Heavy and Light

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Every time I have added space into my life, every time I have dared to let go, great things have followed. Amazing things, in fact. When I have let go of the crippling feeling of trying to fill any hole within me left by the past, I have stepped into a space of freedom and creativity. But the creativity and freedom never came easy. It was always a struggle to let go, to allow there to be emptiness and space around me, and trusting that life would indeed carry me further.

It was a struggle to let go of my marriage, but it needed to be let loose. Few years after that it was a struggle to start letting go of all the physical things I had gathered around me, and to create space into my life, literally. But once I started, it got easier and easier. The more space there was, the more space I craved for. The more freedom I felt. At the end I was sitting in the middle of my empty apartment, after ridding myself of all things heavy, and I felt so incredibly light. I moved to another country, and had so much space around me. Space in my tiny apartement, space in my calendar, space in my evenings to wonder around and get lost. It was fantastic, because anything could happen.

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The Elusiveness of Happiness

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Maybe starting a happiness jar is not such a bad idea” I thought.

I found an empty glass jar, and cut myself some paper notes. Happiness Jar is a jar / box where in you drop a small note at the end of each day stating what made you most happy that day. Then, at the end of the year (or when having a bad moment) you can read back your happy moments and feel your spirits uplift again.

Or, you can truly realize that happiness really is in the small things.

Pushing for happiness

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How to prioritize when it gets too busy (+ worksheet)

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You may recognize the feeling when your candle is being burnt from both ends. Figuratively speaking, that is. When you are running like mad to catch up, sacrificing on sleep and fun things in life just to be able to match the demands of life. You know you cannot keep it up for a long time, but there seems to be no other way than to keep on running.

Something has to change, and usually it’s the body that starts giving the first signals of too much stress. You get short tempered, you don’t sleep so well, you cannot focus and you don’t find life so fun anymore.

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And the Bride wore green – story about accepting what is

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When reality does not appear as we imagined it, we get stressed.

We often think about how certain things should look like, how certain events should go and what we would like the future to bring. We plan the future sometimes with quite detailed images, but what happens when things go according to someone else’s plans, not yours?

But I don’t have a white dress!

My dear partner had arranged a surprise ceremony for us to celebrate our 5 year anniversary (anniversary of us being in each others lives). This was the most romantic gesture ever, there were bouquets and decorated boats, white sand and sunsets, roses and love. But there was also a moment of panic when I realized that reality was not going to match my image of it.

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Always ask for what you want – not what you think you need

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If I would look at my life purely from the outside, I would assume a person like this is incredibly wealthy.

I’m living on a small tropical island, close enough to the ocean to hear the waves when I lay in bed. My surroundings are gorgeous, the garden is maintained daily and our room is cleaned.  On my day off the breakfast comes to my doorstep, usually fresh mango juice and freshly brewed coffee with fruits. I have plenty of time during the day to do what I want, I can lay in the sun or write my little stories.

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Give yourself some space

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Every now and then Facebook reminds me of the events that happened in the past. This great function lets me know what I did exactly 2 years ago or 5 years ago. Every time I look at these photos, I cannot believe how it’s only few years ago, after all it seems like a lifetime ago.

What a great way to remind yourself how far you have come, what has changed and how in just few years from now things can look completely different again.

The concept of space

This morning, January 1st 2016, I lay in bed, drinking coffee and eating cookies. The sun was shining, the green light curtains were moving with the morning breeze, and I got to thinking about what I most wanted to give myself in 2016. The concept of space came to mind.

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Stop being selfish (and please me instead!)

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Has someone ever told you that you are being selfish? Or has someone ever made you feel like your actions were selfish? The odds are you have heard this from people close to you, and although your initial feelings were quite the opposite (you were feeling pretty good), at some point it may all become very confusing.

Is it being selfish, if you take care of yourself instead of others (for a change)? Is it being selfish, when you follow a path you feel is right for you? When you choose your own happiness instead of that of another, are you just a terrible person?

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5 thoughts you should stop telling yourself

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Beliefs are thoughts that have been with us for so long that we started to believe they are true. They can be beneficial to us (“I always learn new things fast” or “Good things are coming my way“), or they can be harmful for our development (“I always fail” or “I’m always so unlucky in life“).

When we want to change our lives around and start something new, there are plenty of these critical voices around and within. Some of them may be our own, some are thoughts adopted from the society we live in, some may come as a “friendly advice” from parents and friends, and some are just things we believe because we think that is the way reality is.

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The Art of Being in the Vortex

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I recently made an important discovery about my life and the world. After a week of negative emotions, stress and feeling overwhelmed, I finally had enough. After all, didn’t I know better? This was not the way forward, and I knew only I had the answers to these seemingly big issues of mine.

The answer was, in Hicks terms, I had fallen out of the Vortex.

We’ll get to the Vortex in a minute, but my main realization was this: What if, instead of following all kinds of activities which I hope / think / suspect would bring me joy and happiness, I’d skip the middle man and go directly for the joy and happiness! What if the only goal in my life was to live with joy and bathe in happiness?

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How Telling the Truth Will Set You Free

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Have you ever experienced the burden of living a lie. Whether a small or a big one, the burden of having a part of your life not really how you feel it should be. You secretly want something else, but don’t dare to go for it. You don’t dare to let the truth out. These secrets take energy and they wear you out. All that pretending and trying. And yet we keep them in because we are afraid of what might happen when we let it all out.

I used to live a lie, but mostly I was lying to myself. Convincing everything was OK so I would not have to go through something I perceived horrible. Like a divorce. Like changing a career direction after the age of 30. I used to pretend to love things I didn’t, just because I thought that would be somehow easier. But it wasn’t, by far. When the truth finally came out, it was the best thing there ever was. Shiny and new, my savior.

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